What to do from here? i am seeing things, going insane?

lets start off by saying i am 14, i have bi polar disorder and have had/still have bulimia. i think i am going through a depression episode, because as of lately i have been starting to see things. sometimes i will start to see the things that frightened me the most, or just something in real life that scares me, when that happens i start to see these bugs that i know are not real because they aren't a real type of bug, but they will fly out around me or crawl out next to me, they look real and i know there not. i am not scared of them they are comforting to me and i feel they are there to pretect me and they are on my side. just like last night, i went to the movies to see that new X Men movie, and this cute guy who wanted to look normal in the movie injected himself with something that would help him and he turned into a beast and i got so scared, then the bugs came and led me out the theatre. i can't even handle movies anymore like that. i have been partying and getting wasted a lot, i have also been very ually active. (i use protection) i asked my mum for help but shes never around and dosen't take it seriously, and i don't live with my dad but i am so scared of him i don't want his help or want him in my life. i'm basically on my own here. as much as i would like it i can't cure myself with alcohol or marijuana. (this has been going on before all that so it's not the drugs/posion lol) i am at a loss. should i just like attempt suicide knowing i'm going to fail to get the help i need?