How to not be such a coward?

I have always been living in fear because the world does not make sense to me and I don't really belong in it at all. People are mean and on top of that, I don't really make much sense when I speak. I have adjusted over the years, but it is hitting me in the face every time nowadays because I keep on meeting the hottest guys. Then my brain goes outta wack: It's like arguing with itself whether being gay is ok and it feels really uncomfortable with the fact that there is a big "new" thing that has just arrived in my life, which I cannot solve or interpret. It takes me a long time to adjust to people and places, so not only is it frightening to meet somebody that absolutely gorgeous, but that it's somebody new and from the same ! Help me, please?